What Hurts the Most
by SylphWindDancer
Summary: Oneshot. Hikari runs back to the Western Lands, wanting her brother of the past to return to her. Only one thing is wrong: what if the great Lord Sesshomaru doesn't want things to return the way they were before InuTaisho died?


**Me: Okay, this is cheesy, but this is a oneshot of Hikari's point of view. For those of you that do not know: Hikari is my created character from my three Inuyasha stories: Another Tale of Demons, Affections and Pain from Love, and A Demon's World! Hikari DOES NOT EXIST in the real world of Inuyasha!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. If I did, I'd be sitting at home, watching all the movies, and getting richer instead of typing this, wouldn't I?**

Inuyasha-- What Hurts the Most

_I can take the rain _

_On the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

Why?...Why did he have to leave...all for power?

_I can take a few tears now and then _

_And just let 'em out_

I remember crying for him when he left. I only wanted my real brother back. Not some fool who wanted nothing more than to be powerful.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once_

_In a while_

_Even though goin' on with you_

_Gone still upsets me_

I regret not spending more time with him, but walking through the forest like this doesn't always help clear my mind.

_There are days every now and again_

_I pretend I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me_

I then stopped. I wasn't okay with this...I wanted a brother again...not one that was over a few thousand years old and was still maturing. Well, okay, Sesshomaru does need a bit of that...but still...

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And havin' so much to say_

_And watchin' you walk away_

I attempted to love him as a brother. To accept he was with me for the rest of my life as a half brother. It tore my heart apart when he left. When he left, he was kind and a little more gentle than he is now. Not a hard core demon who shut away his heart in a stone chamber.

_And never knowin'_

_What could've been_

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

I just didn't know HOW to be a role model, a big sister to him. Then, I turned around. To go back to the palace where he and Naomi were residing.

_It's hard to deal with the pain_

_Of losin' you everywhere I go_

It's a miracle how Naomi opened his heart again...whether or not she's Naraku's daughter. Naraku's dead. There's no worry for him anymore.

_But I'm doin' it_

_It's hard to force that smile_

_When I see our old friends and_

_I'm alone_

But still...I feel like I'm alone in the world. I mean, I have the World of Elegance with me...but...no one but Kosuke, Ai, Asagi, and Sesshomaru could truly see the real me. Inuyasha at times, though. He saw the real me.

_Still harder gettin' up,_

_Gettin' dressed,_

_Livin' with this regret_

I wanted to know him better. I wanted to know someone who would be there for me...especially after I nearly lost control of my demon side. I quickened my pace.

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade,_

_Give away_

_All those words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken._

I'd need to come clean; just tell him I wanted to be his big sister again like all those years ago. I went even faster.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And havin' so much to say_

_And watchin' you walk away_

Then, I stopped.

_And never knowin'_

_What could've been_

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

What if he didn't want to go back? What if he wanted to leave everything locked away in his heart? What if he didn't care anymore if we were real siblings again? What if he wanted the past to simply die? No, I shouldn't think that. I walked forward again, finally arriving at the palace.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And havin' so much to say_

_And watchin' you walk away_

I knocked. I told Rin I wanted to speak to Sesshomaru. She hastened away, and in less than two minutes, Sesshomaru stood where Rin had been.

_And never knowin'_

_What could've been_

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

"What is it?" he inquired. "Something wrong?"

"Sesshomaru...I want to go back. Back in time...I want you to be my little brother once more. I want to see you laugh like you once did. I want everything back." I told him.

_Not seein' that lovin' you_

_That's what I was trying to do._

Then, he smiled.

"I've been wanting that...for quite some time as well. If I had a choice to go back, I would. I wanted to spend more time with you and Father. But...it sucks that Father didn't make a sword of time, huh?"

It took me a minute to register what he'd said. He'd made a joke. I grinned, "Yeah, you're right."

My body relaxed.

I had my real brother back.

**Me: It's lame, isn't it? Oh, well. I wanted to type this for a little while.**

**Please read and review!**


End file.
